歌詞: Frank Zappa. Thing-Fish. Artificial Rhonda.

[Basic track:
Record Plant, LA
Probably c. May-June, 1976

FZ guitar, acoustic guitar, bass, synth
Donnie Vliet harmonica (uncredited)
Ruth Underwood synth
Roy Estrada bg. vocal
+
Chad Wackerman drums]

Thing-Fish:

Don't look OB'DEWLLA! It's too horrible! I b'lieve de muthafucker 'bout to ask dat rubber girl to dance!

Harry-As-A-Boy:

Hey, good-lookin'!

Thing-Fish:

See! I told ya!

Harry-As-A-Boy:

May I have this dance?

Thing-Fish:

Muthafucker barf me right on outa here, AN' gag me wit a spoon!

Harry-As-A-Boy:

What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this? Do you come here often?

Thing-Fish:

YOW!

Harry-As-A-Boy:
(singing)

I got a girl with a little rubber head
Rinse her out every night just before I go to bed
She never talk back like a lady might do
An' she looks like she loves it every time I get through
And her name is
A-R-T-I
F-I-C, I cry
A-L, don't be shy!
ARTIFICIAL RHONDA
With the plastic pie

Her eyes is all shut in a ecstasy face
I can cram it down her throat, people, any old place!
Then I throw the little switch on her battery pack
'N I can poot it, I can shoot it till it makes her gack!
And her name is
A-R-T-I
F-I-C, I cry
A-L, don't be shy!
ARTIFICIAL RHONDA
With the plastic pie

Ensemble:

De boy got a girl wit' a lil' rubber haid
Rinse her out evvy night, jes befo' he go t'bed
He gonna grow up, 'n marry dat trash
Wit a ugly rubber head, an' a 'flateable gash

She jes' de kinda girl dis sucker might need
He's a little bit dumb, peoples, yes indeed
De boy wanna 'RHONDA', jeffo hisseff!
She gonna take what he got 'til nothin' be lef'
She gonna take what he got 'til nothin' be lef'
She gonna take what he got 'til nothin' be lef'
She gonna take what he got 'til nothin' be lef'
She gonna take what he got 'til nothin' be lef'
She gonna take what he got 'til nothin' be lef'
She gonna take what he got 'til nothin' be lef'
She gonna take what he got 'til nothin' be lef'