歌詞: Half Man Half Biscuit. D'ye Ken Ted Moult.

Our Ted it has to be said
produces proof beyond us
rain, shine or gale force nine
his frames remain intact
helicopters in my garden bringing wind, i beg your pardon
double glazing is amazing
don't you all agree?

No fears they'll last you for years our statistics prove it
and you'll pose when everyone knows it's you who sets the pace

On the cold and frosty mornings scoff and howl at yultide warnings
insulation for the nation that's the one for me

No draft cos that would be daft a feather acknowledges Newton
and a ball and chain let loose on the pain can only smash your nerves
In the hibernating season pick the best it stands to reason
no complaing when it's raining thanks to Mr Moult.