歌詞: Half Man Half Biscuit. Dickie Davis Eyes.

Mention the Lord of the Rings
Just once more
And I'll more than likely kill you
"Moorcock, Moorcock, Michael, Moorcock" you fervently moan.
Is this a wok
that you've shoved down my throat,
Or are you just pleased to see me?
Brian Moore's head looks uncannily
like London Planetarium.

Chorus:

And all those people Who you romantically,
Like to still believe are alive,
Are dead!
So I'll wipe my snot

On the arm of your chair
As you put another Roger Dean poster
On the wall.

God, I could murder a Cadbury's Flake!Then I guess you wouldn't let me
into heaven.
Or maybe you would 'cause their adverts Promote oral sex
A Romany bint in a field
with her paints,
Suggesting we faint at her beauty,
But she's got Dickie Davis Eyes!

Chorus x 2