歌詞: Ron Sexsmith. Long Player Late Bloomer. Eye Candy.

Sipping on a black Dakota pint
The joint is jumping on a Sunday night
But then something wicked this way comes
Sticking out like two sore thumbs

Eye candy, ear poison
Oh mother, keep your boys in
'Cause uptown came downtown
And now they keep hanging around

They didn't wanna listen to no band
Why don't they grab a cab back to club land?
Now they're coming on to every guy
Like two drunken socialites

Eye candy, ear poison
Oh mother, keep your boys in
'Cause uptown came downtown
And now they keep hanging around

It's uncanny what the wind blows in
Oh brother, you'd think what goes in
Must come out but somehow
It's been dumbed down and now they're hanging around

You should see the way they dance
Rubbing up against everybody's leg
And like a bad masseuse
Everything they do rubs me the wrong way

Well now, something wicked this way comes
Sticking out like two sore thumbs

Eye candy, ear poison
Oh mother, keep your boys in
'Cause uptown came downtown
And now they keep hanging around

It can't be screen's frozen
Oh brother, keep your nose clean
'Cause upload came download
With a truck load of trouble 'bout to explode

Eye candy, ear poison
Oh mother, keep your boys in
'Cause uptown came downtown
And now they keep hanging around