歌詞: Ray Stevens. My Dad.

My Dad, never climbed Mount Everest
Never wrote a novel, never won a Pulitzer Prize
My Dad, never planned a freeway,
Never made a million, like some other guys.
He hasn't any trophies, he never made Who's Who,
But if you need his help there's not a thing he wouldn't do.
He doesn't play piano, or violin you know,
Oh, but he can play a radio as good as any bro...
My Dad could beat up your Dad, but he wouldn't.
Yes, my Dad could beat up your Dad, but he wouldn't even try.
He's got the greatest laugh, he's not afraid to cry,
I really can't imagine that he ever told a lie.
He forgets so fast when you do something you shouldn't.
My Dad could beat up your dad, but he wouldn't.
My Dad, never ran for office, never found a cure for some rare disease.
My Dad, never swam the channel, never did learn how to speak Chinese.

He never once played Hamlet, or had a Friar's Roast,
and whenever he cooks breakfast, well , he always burns the toast.
He's never been to Europe or seen the pyramids.
His favorite pastime is just bragging about his kids.
Oh, my Dad could beat up your Dad, but he wouldn't.
Yes my Dad could beat up your Dad, but he wouldn't even try.
His life may be simple, but it's far from hum-drum.
For an ordinary man, he's extraordinary as they come.
I once tried to describe him, but I couldn't.
My Dad could beat up your Dad, but he wouldn't.
Oh, my Dad could beat up your Dad, but he wouldn't even try.
I remember long ago, and it makes me awfully glad,
I looked down from heaven and said, a??I want that guy to be my Dad.a??